while these punks were on their 2nd annual brother's trip, i celebrated my
very first mother's day as a real true mother.
it's fun to think that last mother's day we were just telling my family that we
we were going to be having a baby, and now, one year later, our little guy is here.
i missed richard, but it was still a great day. i celebrated by going to church with my
family to hear my dad speak, which was really special because my grandma was there,
and he even talked about me in his talk, too. marty boy was being kinda fussy, so i
took him out to the foyer, but then a neighbor of my parents' came out and took him for me.
looking back i can't believe i just handed him over - and i feel bad because he apparently
freaked out the whole time, which i'm sure subconsciously i knew would happen and is why
i wouldn't normally have given him to anyone who was a stranger to him. but that's all water
under the bridge now. at least i hope so. i hope that we can't trace later problems back to
the very moment when i traumatized him by abandoning him in the arms of alan hintze.
anyway, we spent the rest of the day doing some my favorite things:
snuggling with my buddy
and just playing around, making my boy smile.
someone posted this poem on facebook, and i agree 100%. there is nothing i love
more than being marty's mom. he gives me purpose, and i just know that we were
meant to be together.
"Before I Was a Mom ..."
Before I was a Mom...
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom... I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom... I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom... I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about Immunizations.
Before I was a Mom... I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on or pinched by tiny fingers. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom... I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom... I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom... I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom... I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom... I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom... I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom... I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about Immunizations.
Before I was a Mom... I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on or pinched by tiny fingers. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom... I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom... I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom... I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom... I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
