Friday, December 28, 2012

allow me to gush

it's kind of hard not to when your baby is this adorable.
auntie sarah didn't even make me twist her arm to take more
photos of our boy.  she did such a good job - these are some of
my favorites:


it has only been 2 weeks since we took these pictures, but
in that short time he's already changed so much.  it's amazing
and fun to watch happen right in front of our eyes, but the time
just seems like it's flying at warp-speed, and i want to slow it.
since i know that is impossible, i will just take millions of pictures
and make the most of every moment we have.  so far, so good.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

stepping out with my baby

our first week and a half in the perfect newborn bubble eventually
had to come to an end.  richard had to go back to work, and i
had to leave the house with marty by myself.  looking back now,
i'm not sure why i was so nervous about it - i think it's just that
everything is so new.  all of these experiences are brand new, and
i don't know what to expect, but i'm finding that it really isn't as
scary as i thought it would be.  our first mother-son outing was to
his 2-week check-up.
we really like our pediatrician, dr. cobb, a lot.  richard and i both went to
the newborn check-up, and he made us feel pretty good about pretty much
everything, so that was nice.  and at this check-up he confirmed our suspicions:
our little marty is an absolute stud.

a couple of weekends after marty was born, megan, scott, & their
little morgan clan came to visit and meet our new addition.  richard
had a blas jamming with scott and eli.

and i really enjoyed the time i had to visit with megan and
little mary.  megan showed us how to use our moby wrap, and
although i've only used it a few times, i'm loving it.

marty's disgusting umbilical cord finally fell off one day while i was
feeding him, and we noticed something...barrack obama's face!  richard
thinks it's just a face, but it looks very presidential to me.  look on the left
side, just under the little panhandle at the top and you can't miss the face.

after the cord was in the trash (which i now realize was a huge mistake...
don't people sell their chips/sandwiches/etc. with jesus's face on them for
buko bucks?!), we celebrated by giving our boy a proper bath. 

no more freezing it out while we try to quickly wipe him down on
the kitchen counter, thank goodness.  he seems much happier about
this new bathing situation, too, which makes us all happy campers. 

it's pretty crazy how much things have changed in just the 3 weeks
that we've had our little man.  some of his clothes are getting more snug,
and our favorite swaddling blankets are looking smaller as we wrap them
around him every day.  i've even gotten back into the habit of showering
and wearing make-up on a daily basis, so i guess we're all growing.


Monday, December 24, 2012

where the heart is

how can you love someone so much you just met?
and how can your love for someone you already loved so
much grow so much so fast?

all i know is that i never understood what people really meant
when they said, "it's different when it's yours..."  but now i know
exactly what they meant.  and you really can't imagine what that
feels like until you're living it.  i'm living it.  and i'm loving it.
every stinking minute.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

musings of a former pregnant woman

the weekend before little marty finally arrived, i caved
and did a few pregnancy poses.  i was mostly being sarcastic,
but when my mom said, "we need to get a picture of your cute
pregnant belly!" i did it.  the thing is, the whole time i was
knocked up, i refused to do it because every time i'd see another
picture on facebook of a friend's pregnancy glamour photo shoot
i wanted to puke.  they looked very cute, but come on...i had a
pretty breezy pregnancy, and you can't tell me those girls actually
felt glamorous!  it reminded me of our engagment pictures - they
look great, but richard hated every minute of that photo shoot.
anyway, i'm glad i took the picture, but equally glad i didn't get
all decked out and bare-belly it.  however, i should have, at some
point during the TEN months i was pregnant make a list of the
things i liked and disliked about being in my "situation."

feeling the baby squirm - even when there was a foot in my ribs.
that richard would tell me i looked good before i left for work - even if i knew i didn't.
getting the baby to move by playing music, poking him a little, or having richard talk to him.
when richard and i would cuddle, i would try to be the big spoon, and the baby would kick richard.
pregnancy massage - the bolsters allowed me to lay on my stomach & it was heavenly!
that leggings allowed me to not feel bad that i didn't wear pants with zippers anymore.
having to pee all the time.
getting winded and sweaty all the time.
having to go to the doctor and pee in a cup all the time.
the fact that i acquired a snore that woke richard and me every night.
not being able to work out like i used to.  or at all after a certain point.
the fact that i considered walking my work out after a certain point.
hip and lower-back pain.
not feeling the desire to cook. like ever.

i really did have a great pregnancy, and i'm so thankful for that.
i was never sick - maybe got nauseated a handful of times, but
that's it.  i was able to work up until the day before i went into labor,
which means that i didn't have to waste any of my maternity leave
before marty actually arrived.  and not only did i feel pretty good the
whole time, but i got to go through the whole experience with my best
friend, and the best husband ever.  he helped me to laugh about things
that i may have otherwise cried about, and i always felt so loved.
i think that heavenly father knew exactly what i/we needed and could
handle, and i'm so thankful for that.
i'm also pretty darn thankful for the little bundle of joy that we got out
of the whole thing.  he's pretty amazing, and the ten months was well worth it.

but it could be our last...

we started having a weekly designated date night a little while ago,
and as d-day drew near we found ourselves saying "what should we
do tonight?  you know it could be our last date night before baby..."
it didn't really change much, but it made it seem more special.  which
now seems rediculous, but that's how we were rolling.
the last few date nights included:
a quick trip to ogden's christmas village.

a quick trip really is best, because then you still enjoy all the lights
and christmas cheer, but you don't end up complaining about the cold
or the weird people you're walking around with.  even if you're
pregnant and on the verge of delivery, a quick trip is better.  it just
makes your waddle a little more noticeable.

on the same night we went to the christmas village, we also
made a trip all the way to layton to eat at red lobster. 


we turned a couple of regular nights into date nights at home, too.
this particular night i creamed richard at boggle.

because it "could've been our last," i was even able to talk
richard into getting pedicures with me one week.
here he is trying very hard to concentrate so that he didn't kick
the lady in the face as she filed his super ticklish foot.

we both loved it.
i'm sure that date night will be reinstituted soon.  eventually...
but for now we love being "stuck" at home with our little buddy.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

martin richard smith...welcome, baby!

exactly one week ago our lives changed forever.
and it all started with a spicy dinner at buffalo wild wings.
actually, it started when my due date came and went on monday
and i decided i'd do whatever it took to go into labor, whether it
was taking long walks, getting a deep tissue massage, or eating all
the spicy food i possibly could.  it was tuesday night, which is date
night for us, so we went out to eat, and ordered some labor-inducing
buffalo wings.
last date night before our duo would turn into a trio.

i was startled awake just before 3:00 in the morning when
i felt like i was peeing the bed.  nope.  just my water breaking.
i'm not gonna lie, i wasn't 100% sure that was what was happening,
but i consulted my "what to expect" book, and it confirmed that, yes,
my water did just break.  so i woke richard up by whispering to him
that i thought my water just broke.  i don't know why i whispered, but i
did.  he immediately started feeling my side of the bed to make sure that
i didn't just ruin our mattress, something we'd joked about in the past.
i didn't.  i felt really gross from not showering after my massage the night
before, and the amniotic fluid that was running down my legs, so i jumped
in the shower, and then he did the same.  we ended up checking into the hospital
via the emergency room about an hour later.

there was a lot going on with a delivery down the hall from us
when we first arrived, so richard pretended to be my nurse for awhile.

they started me on pitocin, which is when i started to feel my
contractions. not fun.  but i thought i could tough it out for a little
bit longer.  dumb.  the anesthesiologist was assisting on a c-section
so i had to wait for my epidural.  man, i loved that epidural.  not only
did i get out of feeling my contractions, but they gave me a catheter
so i didn't even have to get up to go to the bathroom.  which was the
most annoying and disgusting part of labor thus far because i had to drag
the dang i.v. tower with me, and richard had to help, and it was just
rediculous.  i'll say it again: i loved my epidural.

around 9 or 10 we got our first visitor.  i'd sent my mom and
dad a text message letting them know not to go into work because
we were at the hospital.  when my dad saw it he was on the train on
his way to slc, but got off at the next stop and turned right around.
chelsa brought me some magazines to keep me distracted, and was a
welcome distraction herself.  a little later the rest of the family showed
up to keep us company while we waited.  they mostly hung out in the
hall, but it was nice to know they were there.  and i really appreciated
them letting me and richard spend most of the day just the two of us
in our room.

things progressed nicely, and before i knew it i was where i needed
to be to start pushing.  the family was in the waiting room, but we
asked sarah to stay in and document this major life event for us.  i'm
so glad she said yes.  the pictures she took are so special to us.

we originally thought richard would stay up by my head.
especially after we watched a couple of birth videos online - yuck.
but its true what they say, its different when its you.  so he made
his way down to the foot of the bed behind nurse patricia, and he even
talked sarah into joining him at the very end of things.

we also had the video camera going, which i'm so happy about, too.
going through it was kind of an out of body experience, and it seemed
to go by so fast.  there have never been a faster 13 hours.

i'd only been pushing about ten or fifteen minutes before patricia
told me to stop.  apparently i'm a really good pusher.  she called
dr. hartman to let him know i was ready, and then we just waited.

it was a little weird having those few minutes to wait for the doctor
to get there.  i started to get nervous and think, "holy cow, this is really
actually happening."  you'd think that thought would've crossed my mind
earlier on, but no.  i was a little scared, but mostly it was a feeling i've
never ever felt before, so its hard to even put into words.

dr. hartman finally got there (we really only waited maybe 5 minutes),
and when he walked into the room he stopped, looked at me, and said,
"ya in the mood?"  of course we all just started laughing, and it was nice
to have that little ice breaker to lighten things up a bit.  and after that the
rest is history.  they had me keep pushing, but not for long.

Sidenote: Richard was filming my face, but the picture might make you think otherwise.

before we knew it, our baby was here.  words can't describe how
full my heart was when i heard that little cry.  Richard said that the
moment he put his hand up was the moment he heard Martin's first
cry and that an indescribable flood of emotions immediately set in.

richard cut the cord and then followed him over to be cleaned off,
weighed, and measured.

he was 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and 20 inches long.

i watched from across the room as that was happening, and
as dr. hartman took care of things downtown.  then they swaddled
him up and brought him over to me.  my life and capacity to love
changed so much in those precious moments.

its funny how i didn't think i could love richard any more than
i already did, but seeing him with our sweet little baby, and just
having this new family dynamic that we created together opens up
this whole new chamber of my heart.

after we'd spent some time together as a new little family,
richard went to get my family and bring them back to meet
the new addition.

aunt chelsa was the first to hold him.
i'm pretty sure it was love at first sight.

next were grandma and grandpa.

and last, but not least, aunt sarah.
we were glad that uncle shae was there, too.

after the fam met little marty, and i stopped shaking, one of
the nurses helped me to feed our little guy for the first time.
then they wheeled us down to our postpartum room, where a
friend from our ward who is a nurse had decorated our room.

just a little while later they came to give marty his first bath.

he had a little trouble bringing his temperature up, so i
got to hold him skin-to-skin to warm him up.
worked like a charm.

richard changed the first diaper.  it was actually the second because the
first diaper change took place during the first bath.  thanks, nurse susan.
he's a pretty big fan of meconium, comparing it to taffy.  i actually only
changed one diaper the whole time we were in the hospital.
richard is the best.

to prove it, he showed up with my favorite roses and
balloons the next morning.  i love him.

we got a few other flower arrangements:
the ones on the left from rachel jenkins, who has been under the
weather and is therefore not allowed to visit us yet, and from my
mom, who also knows my favorite roses.  she got one for each of us.

we soaked up our time in the hospital.  we absolutely loved all
of our nurses.  thanks to them, we know how to swaddle our boy.

our last day there we had a room service lunch date.

as we were getting ready to leave, we experienced our first
wardrobe malfunction when marty peed on his going-home
outfit.  the replacement ended up being cuter than the original.

it felt a little crazy that they were actually letting us leave
with our baby in tow.

but they did, and we made it safely home.

and since then we've been doing a lot of this.  who knew
looking at a baby could be so much fun?

you'd think that nine months of preparation would've gotten me
somewhat ready, but i don't think there's any way to know what to
expect.  it's just so much more - so much better than i'd ever imagined
it would be.  i feel lucky to have had the wonderful pregnancy, labor,
and delivery experiences that i did.  and i was seriously blessed to have
richard to have gone through it all with.  he was such a good sport about
the fact that i started snoring, stopped cooking (much), was moody, and
turned into large marge.  he always made me feel better, and was 100%
supportive, and that's all i've felt from him, but more, since our journey
was kicked up a notch last week.  i love him as a husband, and now as the
father of our amazing son, more than i can say, and more than he'll probably
ever know.  i'm lucky to have both of my boys.  so lucky, and so thankful.