living on a prayer

ages ago, on a pregnant whim, i bought us tickets to see bon jovi.

i saw an ad online for the concert that was more than 6 months away, and i knew

that richard wouldn't be dying to see them, but being the good sport that he is he

agreed to go with me anyway.  so did our good friends the bowmans.  well, i think

that spencer was being a good sport for sara, too, but it ended up all working out.

they introduced us to pho (pronounced "fuh") before the show, which we thoroughly

enjoyed.  sara described it as ramen on steroids, and she was absolutely right.

awesome ramen.  right up our alley.  well, mostly richard's, but i loved it, too.

we parked in a parking lot far, far away from the delta center (because it will always

be the delta center to me), so i made richard run there...

i may have given birth to our son many months ago, but my lungs were still

a burnin' in my chest after that little jog.  what a joke.

we made it in plenty of time to wait in a very long line.  which was good because i

needed lots of time to catch my breath so i could sing along to some of my fave 80's hits.

finally made it to our seats where we waited for even longer.  but that's ok, too,

because we needed as much time as we could get to get an eye-full of all the

amazing mullets that were being sported.  by men and women.  thank you, 1980's.

mr. bon jovi asked us to put our hands in the air quite a bit, and the

boys were more than happy to oblige.

something else that added to the entertainment was the crowd were surrounded

by:

the girls in front of us were dancing the night away, which attracted some very

touchy-feely new friends.  i love the look on her face..."how do we get rid of him?"

and the brokeback cowboys that had an intimate embrace (with their tongues) during

wanted: dead or alive, while one of their wives was sandwiched between them. ha woof.

although the boys left early to bring the cars around (and missed living on a prayer!),

richard was there to belt out it's my life with me.  i love this man that will be a fool with

me, even when it's not his cup of tea.  we marry our best friends for a reason, right?  right.

so, definitely not the best concert i've ever been to.

not even close, actually.  paul mccartney, celine, u2, and even kenny loggins

outdid it, without question.  but it was a fun night out with friends, dancing like

idiots and singing along to fun old songs.  which is definitely up my alley.  i mean, 

let's face it, that's basically what my alley is made up of.

rollin' with my homie

i love that smile.

one of the best parts of being home with my little buddy is that i've gotten to work

on all those little things with him that i felt like i was getting a little cheated out of

when i was working full-time...

like tummy time

and motor skills.

i even got to be there for one of the first big milestones:

yep.  he's on the move.  so far it's only from tummy-to-back, and mostly only

to the right (unless he's forced to go left by one of us).  this happened the first week

i was home with him, and i can't even say how excited i was to have been there.

ending up on his back always shocks him a little, but i'm pretty sure he was

excited that i was there, too.  we were also both pretty excited to show 

daddy when he got home from work.

quittin' time

i really never, not in a million years, thought i'd want to do this.  but one

of the biggest lessons i learned the moment martin was born is that you

never ever know how you'll feel about something until you are living it.

whatever that situation may be.  i can do a whole post about that, and i think

that i will, but for now i'll just focus on this "ah-ha" moment.

going back to work after maternity leave was  tough stuff.  there were more

than a few times that i closed the door to my office and cried.  richard was

a gem, and he knew how hard i was taking it, so he would text me a picture

of marty almost every day when he would go eat lunch at the daycare (cdc) with him.

that helped a little bit.  but clearly not enough.  there were also many days that i

left work early to go and pick him up, even if it was just a half-hour before

richard would be there to get him.  emotionally, that separation was very hard

for me.  it did get a little bit easier as time went on, but not much.

the decision was more than an emotional one, though.  the day we went in for

our parent orientation at the cdc richard felt it, too.  we were signing papers with

a lady, and she had to leave the room for some reason.  when she left, richard said,

"i don't want to leave him here."  and we talked about it for a second before she came

back.  then we talked about it more and more as the days went on.  we both felt that

we wanted to be the ones teaching him things, and being there for all of his firsts: laughing,

rolling over, finding his feet and sucking on them...those are some that have happened

so far.  it also came down to the fact that although i loved my job, i'd signed up for a new

job that i loved infinitely more.  when i was at work, i felt super distracted.  it just seemed

like i was never giving 100% to my job, and i felt like i wasn't being 100% the mom i could

be.  so, after being back to work almost a month i gave my notice.  i was really nervous

because i'd talked a big game about returning to work, but my supervisor was so nice and

supportive, and i was able to leave on a very good note with all of my co-workers.  i felt

nothing but encouragement from all of them, and that meant so much to me.

marty's last day of daycare was thursday, april 4.  he had a huge blowout, and another

parent accidentally grabbed his bag of clothes (one of my favorite outfits) that we never

got back, but this is the smile i got from him when i picked him up that day.

so, about the clothes:  who cares?

friday, april 5 was a big, big day.  marty turned 4 months old and it was my last

official day of work.  i only had to go in for a few hours so i took him with me.  it

was a hoot showing him off to everyone as i went in to return my keys, sign papers,

and say goodbye.

here we are just before leaving the house for the day:

that afternoon he had his 4-month check-up, and everything looked great.

our boy is healthy and strong, and maybe a little low on the growth charts, but

if he's not right on schedule to become an average morbidly obese american, 

i'm ok with that.  he did have to get more shots, and i lost it and started crying

with him.  the nurse we had was amazing, though, and we mostly just snuggled the

rest of the day.  grandma jan even came over for moral support.  baby shots, woof.

here we are snuggling and crying together.  the crying eventually stopped,

but not the snuggling...

well, only long enough to play a little.  we had a lot to celebrate.

and late that night we got to pick richard up from being out of town on tdy.

aside from the shots and tears, it was a very good day.

the decision to quit was my own.  i'm so grateful for an amazingly supportive

husband, and that he's such an awesome daddy to our boy.  you know on spotlight

questionnaires when it asks you to list your talents?  i'm usually embarrassed to list mine

because they consist of volleyball and cooking.  not a long list, and i'm not really sure if

those things even count.  anyway, i just got to thinking, and this is one of the things that

helped me make the final decision to quit, that being a mother is the most important

thing i'll do in my whole life, and i want to become the best one i possibly can.  i want to

be the kind of mom that loves being a mom, and whose kids love having her as their mom.

i have a few really good examples of this around me, and i'm just following their lead.

i feel in my gut that i made the right decision, and i haven't regretted it for even a second.

i don't know that i'll ever list "awesome mom" on a spotlight talent list, but i hope that

someday awesome mothering will become my greatest talent.

bless you

well, we finally did it.  we blessed the boy on easter sunday, and it was magnificent.

richard gave a really sweet blessing to marty boy, and all of our family was there to see

and be a part of it.  it was really, really special, and i was so glad that we could celebrate

our little guy with all of the people we love the most.  and who love him the most.

i felt really strongly about not blessing him in all white.  when i was looking at the little

blessing outfits i was just bored to death, so riard helped me pick out a very cute little

easter outfit that was very handsome, and perfect for the occasion.

we definitely have a little stud on our hands.

richard's parents drove up on saturday afternoon, austin also came in that night,

and they stayed with us.  tyson drove up with scott, megan and their kids early sunday

morning, and heidi met us at the church.  the shepherds were there - dayna and dave

left a weekend trip early to make it! - and grandma and grandpa porter were not feeling

well at all, but they still made it (just in the knick of time!).  sarah and shae's puppy pooped

in the back of her car on their way up, but not even a poopy mess could stop them from

being there for the big day.  our other favorite austin smith (yes, we have two!) also came

to show the love and stand in the circle for mister marty.  what a special boy to have the love

of so many amazing people.

i was so nervous that marty would be fussy during the blessing, but he slept right through it!

richard really did such a great job.  i already knew that he loved marty so much, but no one

in the chapel could doubt it after hearing what wonderful things he blessed him with.  i'm so happy

and lucky to be married to such a stellar husband and father.  so happy and lucky.

after church we all headed out to my parents' house for lunch, and to celebrate sarah's

birthday, too.  marty was passed around, and we made him laugh for everyone.  he was

a big, big hit.  naturally.  we may have waited a little longer than some to bless him, but it

was worth it to have all of our favorite people there for it.  i know that it was a blessing for

marty, but i really just feel like he blesses our lives more than we could ever do for him.